Tone: [G]
Verse:
h[G]have you checked? have a look in the [Ebdim]mirror.
There's a f[Em]fault; a crack, a flaw, a defect.
H[G]Have you tried wrapping up? taping [Ebdim]over? eating [Em]less?
Proceed, you’re almost perfect!
[C]Swear by these re[Am]results, my darling, [G]self improvement [Em]is my mission.
[C]You can try and [D]fail to look like [G]me, and I can m[Cm]make commission!
Verse 2:
[G]Hey, your lips have a tilt.
Have you [Ebdim]thought about how [Em]big the space between your eyebrows [G]is?
Have you heard? If you breathe it'll [Ebdim]give you double [Em]chin.
Sometimes, it's best to hold it [C]in.
Pre-chorus:
It's all your [Am]fault,
The a[G]ability to [Em]change is in your [C]hands.
Just slam the [A7]wall. Your bones too [G]thick? Then simply [Ebdim]grind them into san[Em]sand.
Cm**
With my favorite brand!
Chorus:
[G]Look at you babe, you're[Cm]you're almost there!
With [Em]just another [Ebdim]dime or two,
The [C]Gods will surely s[Cm]spare [D]you.
[G]Negligence is sinful,[Cm]sinful, it's good to care.
I've [Em]heard your useless [G]dumb excuses.
[C]Toughen up, 'cause l[Cm]ife just i[D]sn't f[G]aa[Ebdim]aair. [Em]
Interlude:
[C] [D]
Verse 3:
G*& D#dim* Em*
every day I wake up and I do my morning shed
it's worth it though I look in[G]insane
all the things that you never even [Ebdim]thought about be[Em]before
there's a new standard to [C]attain
don't make me [A7]laugh there's a [G]way to look [Em]eighteen until you [C]die,
We’ll do the [A7]math. There's a [G]million useless [Ebdim]trinkets you can buy[Em]buy!
Cm**
It'd be a crime not to try.
Chorus:
[G]Look at you babe, you're[Cm]you're almost there!
With [Em]just another [Ebdim]dime or two,
The [C]Gods will surely s[Cm]spare [D]you.
[G]Negligence is sinful, [Cm]it's good to care.
I've [Em]heard your useless [G]dumb excuses.
[C]Toughen up, 'cause l[Cm]ife just i[D]sn't f[G]aa[Ebdim]aair. [Em]
Interlude:
[Cm] [D]
Verse 4:
[G]Don't you wanna give up [Cmaj7]all the things that [D]make you unique[Em]unique?
Don't you [Gaug]wanna look the [G]age of your [Ebdim]biological [C]peak?
You're "just a [A7]kid". But that [G]doesn't mean you [Em]get to just slack [C]off.
You’re aging [A7]rapidly! You [G]better not bend [Ebdim]over laugh or cou[Em]cough.
Unless you WANT those little awful creases
that show you that you've EXPERIENCED HUMAN EMOTION.
(EwwwAH!)
Bridge:
[G]Look at you babe! You'[Cm]You're almost there.
The [Em]time to hate your[Ebdim]yourself is now, it's [Cm]good to be a[Cm]aware.
[D]you can f[G]fix your imperfections but you're r[Cm]running out of time!
Let me [Em]point you in the [Ebdim]right
direction, buy[C]buy this foreign [Cm]skin [D]care [G]li[Ebdim]iiine![Em] [Cm]
You're all ugly and it's all your fault.