Tone: [G]
Verse 1:
[G]Hey honey, have you gained some we[C]weight in your rear[D]rear-end
[G]The dress you wear reminds me of[C]of my old gir[D]girlfriend
[Em]And where'd you[D]you get those shoes, I [C]think they're pretty [G]lame
[Em]Would you stop t[D]alking 'cause I'm tr[C]ying to watch the ga[G]me
Chorus:
[Em]If you're a man who w[G]wants to live
[Em]a long and happy[G]happy life
[Em]These are the things yo[D]you don't say to your [G]wife
Verse 2:
[G]I planned a hunting trip [C]next week on your b[D]birthday
[G]I didn't ask you but[C]but I knew it'd be[D]be ok
[Em]Go make some di[D]nner while I watc[C]h this fishin[G]g show
[Em]I taped it over[D] our old w[C]edding vid[G]eo
Chorus:
[Em]If you're a man who d[G]done that
[Em]a long and happy[G]happy life
[Em]'Cause those are things yo[D]you don't say to your [G]wife
Verse 3:
[G]Your cooking is ok but not[C]not like Mother mak[D]makes
[G]The diamond in the ring I [C]bought you is a [D]fake
[Em]Your eyes look [D]puffy, dear, are[C]are you feeling[G]feeling ill
[Em]Happy anniver[D]sary, I boug[C]ht you a trea[G]dmill
Chorus:
[Em]If you're a man who [G]wants to live
[Em]a long and happy ([G](done that too)
[Em]These are the things yo[D]you don't say to your [G]wife
[Em]If you're a man who[G] doesn't want to g[Em]et killed with a[G] knife
[Em]These are the things you do[D]don't say to your[G]your wife