Tone: [Dm]
Verse 1
[Dm]Welcome to the internet. Have a look around.
[Gm]Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found.
We've got [F]mountains of content. Some better, some worse.
If [A7]none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first.
Verse 2
[Dm]Welcome to the internet. Come and take a seat.
Would you [Gm]like to see the news or any famous women's feet.
There's [F]no need to panic. This isn't a test (huh huh).
J[A7]Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest.
Verse 3
[Dm]Welcome to the internet. What would you prefer.
Would you [Gm]like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur.
Be [F]happy. Be horny. Be bursting with rage.
[A7]We got a million different ways to engage
Verse 4
[Dm]Welcome to the internet. Put your cares aside.
Here's a [Gm]tip for straining pasta. Here's a nine-year-old who died.
We got [F]movies, and doctors, and fantasy sports.
And a [A7]bunch of colored pencil drawings
of all the characters of harry potter fuckin
[Dm]eachother.
Verse 5
Welcome to the internet. Hold on to your socks.
'cause a [Gm]random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock.
They are [F]grainy and off-putting. He just sent you more.
[A7]Dont act surprised. You know you like it, you whore.
Verse 6
[Dm]See a man beheaded. Get offended, see a shrink.
Show us [Gm]pictures of your children. Tell us every thought you think.
Start a [F]rumor, buy a broom or send a death threat to a boomer.
Or [A7]DM a girl and groom her. Do a Zoom or find a tumor in your-
Verse 7
[Dm]Here's a healthy breakfast option. You should kill your mom.
Here's why [Gm]women never fuck you. Here's how you can build a bomb.
Which [F]Power Ranger are you? Take this quirky quiz.
O[A7]Obama sent the immigrants. To [A7]vac- [Gm]cin- [F]ate- [E]your- [Dm]kids.
Chorus
Could I i[Dm]interest you in everything, all of the time?
A [Gm]little bit of everything. All of the time.
[F]Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime.
[A7]Anything and everything. All of the time.
Could I i[Dm]interest you in everything, all of the time?
A [Gm]little bit of everything. All of the time.
[F]Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime.
[A7]Anything and everything. All of the time.
Interlude
[Dm] [C] [Bb] [A7]
Verse 8
[Dm]You know, [C]it wasn't always like [Bb]this [A7]
[Dm]Not very [C]long ago
[Bb]Just before your [A7]time
[Dm]Right before [C]the towers fell
[Bb]Circa '99 [A7]
Verse 9
This was [Gm]catalogues
T[Dm]Travel blogs
[A7]A chat room or [Dm]two
We set our s[Gm]sights and [Dm]spent our nights
[A7]Waiting [C7]
Bridge 1
For [Fmaj7]you
[Dm7]You
In[Gm7]Insatiable [C7]you
Mommy [Fmaj7]let you use her i[Dm7]iPad
[Gm7]You were barely [C7]two
And it [Dm]did all the [Dmmaj7/C#]things
We [Dm7/C]designed it to [Bb]do
Interlude
Now [Bb]look at you
Oh, [C]look at you
[D]You
Bridge 2
[Gmaj7]You [Em7]
Un[Am7]Unstoppable, w[D7]watchable
Your [Gmaj7]time is now. Your i[Em7]inside's out.
[Am7]Honey, how you [D7]grew
And if [Em]we stick to[Emmaj7/D#]together
Who [Em7/D]knows what we'll [A]do
It was [C]always the pl[D]plan
To put the [B7]world in your h[C]hand
[Em](la[Em/B](laughin[Em]ughing) [Em/B] [Em] [Em/B] [Em] [Em/B]
Chorus
Could I i[Em]interest you in everything, all of the time?
A [Am]little bit of everything. All of the time.
[G]Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime.
[B7]Anything and everything. All of the time.
Could I i[Em]interest you in everything, all of the time?
A [Am]little bit of everything. All of the time.
[G]Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime.
[B7]Anything and everything
[B7]And anything and everything
[B7]And anything and everything
B7 Em (as hard as you possibly can!)
And all of the time