Tone: [G]
Capo: 7
I[C]'m a Christmas U[G]nicorn, in a u[C]niform made of g[G]old
With a b[C]illy-goat beard, and a s[G]orcerer's shield, and m[Am]istletoe on my n[D]ose
Oh, I[C]'m a Christian h[G]oliday, I'm a s[C]ymbol of original s[G]in
I've a p[C]agan tree, and a m[G]agical wreath, and b[Am]ow-tie on my c[D]hin
Oh, I[C]'m a pagan h[G]eresy, I'm a t[C]ragical Catholic s[G]hrine
I'm a l[C]ittle bit shy, with a l[G]azy eye, and a p[Am]enchant for s[D]ublime
Oh, I[C]'m a mystical a[G]postasy, I'm a h[C]orse with a fantasy t[G]wist
Though I p[C]play all night, with my m[G]magical kite, people [Am]say I don't e[D]xist
For I m[C]ake no full a[G]pology for the c[C]ategory I r[G]eside
I'm a m[C]ythical mess, with a t[G]reasury chest, I'm a c[Am]onstruct of your m[D]ind
Oh, I[C]'m hysterically A[G]merican, I've a c[C]redit card on my w[G]rist
And I h[C]ave no home, or a f[G]ield to roam, I will c[Am]urse you with my k[D]iss
Oh, I[C]'m a criminal p[G]athology with a h[C]istory of medical c[G]are
I'm a f[C]rantic shopper, and a b[G]rave pill popper, and they s[Am]ay my kind are r[D]are
But I[C]'ve seen others in the u[G]niform of a u[C]nicorn just like [G]me
We are l[C]egions wide, and we c[G]hoose no sides, we are m[Am]asters of m[D]ystique
For y[C]ou're a Christmas U[G]nicorn, I have s[C]een you on the b[G]eat
You may d[C]ress in the human u[G]niform, child... But I k[Am]now you're just like [D]me